Foreword

In the many years I have practiced as a licensed psychologist, it still troubles me that the general public views autistic individuals as different “bad” instead of different “good.” Much of this perception comes from seeing overexaggerated characters on television or in movies that project a stereotype of what a neurodiverse person is like. This is unfortunate because no two people are alike, and this is certainly true of people with developmental or learning differences.

I specialize in diagnosing and treating adults with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning differences and the anxiety that accompanies these conditions. I provide neuropsychological testing, coaching, counseling, and therapy to my patients so they not only can cope, but they can “own” their challenges and be proud of their differences. As a therapist, I also work closely with a patients’ primary care or family physicians, neurologists, and psychiatrists to improve the quality of care provided to patients. I know a cognitive deficit can be frustrating, sad, and unfair. But trying to live a life without ever recognizing one’s passion would be downright tragic!

I am excited Navigating Neurodiversity: My Journey as a Twice Exceptional Adult has been published because there are few books available today about twice exceptional adults. John Truitt’s exceptional life story-including being diagnosed 2e later in life and Deborah Gennarelli’s background as a gifted specialist and author of another book on twice-exceptional boys, will help readers understand every individual should be allowed to reach their fullest potential, regardless of developmental or learning differences. I often say, we don’t tell people in wheelchairs to “try harder” to walk, or people who can’t see to “try harder” to see. If someone has poor vision, we don’t consider them lazy if they try harder but still can’t see, and certainly don’t consider them stupid. We give them glasses. So why are we telling neurodiverse people to “try harder” to stop procrastinating, “try harder” to stay focused, “try harder” to be on time, “try harder” to not get anxious, “try harder” to not worry so much about being perfect. The list can go on and on. With a broad-based approach to testing, diagnosing, therapy, counseling, and coaching, an adult can return to college or work with proper accommodations, a new level of confidence and self-esteem.

I met John Truitt several years ago after his marriage counselor thought he might be on the spectrum. Until this time in his life, he was forty-five years old, John was told he was like everyone else. However, every minor setback he experienced reminded him he was different.

Neurotypicals have a strong need to conform. This need is so strong that a large portion of the American public have a fear of being different. Neurodiverse individuals respond by “masking” or pretending to be “normal”. This usually results in failed attempts to “fit in” which is why so many neurodiverse adults develop the belief that they are “different-bad” or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. John, however, is the exception. Unlike other neurodiverse individuals, he has developed the self-esteem that comes with accepting that he is “different-good” and is dedicated to passing on this gift of self-acceptance to other 2es, individuals on the spectrum, those with ADHD or with learning differences.

After several days of thorough testing, John was identified as gifted with autism. He discovered that his slow processing speed was the catalyst for many of his issues. Individuals, like John, learn that their superior language processing skills can quickly deteriorate when they are confronted with a stressful situation. They lose the ability to quickly process what someone else is saying as fast as they are saying it and they cannot formulate a response fast enough to keep up. Over time they , become conflict avoidant. They may even be so prone to anticipate confrontations, they may get defensive or even confrontational themselves even though the neurotypical that started the conversation wasn’t being confrontational in the first place . This self-fulfilling prophesy can be considered is called autistic paranoia. John finds overcoming his autistic paranoia takes hyper focusing and overconcentrating. By the end of a day of conversing with neurotypical colleagues, co-workers, supervisors, vendors, advisors, students, faculty and others, he is usually too exhausted to enjoy life. Attending a family wedding over an weekend will often require taking Monday off to recover.

Through therapy, counseling and coaching, John learned many things that helped with his communication. He realized he was mixing up emotions because he couldn’t recognize them. Is that person angry, or anxious, or sad? He would assume a person’s emotion was one thing when it was something else entirely. This led to reacting to an individual inappropriately. John would over rely on verbal communication since he couldn’t figure out non-verbal communication.

Many adults on the spectrum consider their advanced intelligence one of their few positive features. They often believe that to ask an individual how they feel , e.g. if they are angry or anxious, places them at risk of being perceived as “stupid”, so they don’t ask. They guess instead and end up being wrong more often than not.

“Chit chat” is another “fitting in” challenge. John will tell you how frustrating attempting to participate in “small talk” can be. One of John’s major strengths is his cognitive inflexibility. This cognitive talent allows him to develop intense interests and use inductive reasoning to find creative solutions to complex problems. It also causes him to resist changing a subject during a conversation if he is still interested in the topic or if he has more information to contribute. The feeling he experiences is similar to how we feel with someone plays a song on a piano but stops before playing the last note. Neurotypicals are usually cognitively flexible. They don’t need as much information about one topic before moving on the next. They relate time during a conversation to “fitting in” and to even intimacy. The longer the conversation, the closer they feel to each other. Communicating information is often of secondary importance. Not to John. To John information always comes first. Why else would people talk to each other? This is one more challenge John experiences trying to fit in on a daily basis, minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour, day-to-day, week-to-week, year-to-year, continuously throughout his life.

Many patients get evaluated, but they are not convinced they are autistic. It is helpful to bring together two or more 2e individuals, like I did with John, in a joint session and allow them to speak with one another. After a very short time, they realize they are not alone. Other patients, especially older adults in the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and older, embrace a late diagnosis. They are relieved and even elated to finally have an explanation for why they have felt different their entire life. This is how John felt after his diagnosis and why , on his own now, has provided support for many 2e people. His efforts to help them see themselves as different “good” and not different “bad” has made all the difference.

Deborah Gennarelli has advocated for 2e children and their families for over thirty years. Her extensive background as a gifted education specialist has put her in the position to help smart students with learning differences see their strengths are greater than their learning challenges. Her book Twice Exceptional Boys: A Roadmap to Getting it Right emphasizes how we must get to know and plan for the whole child. When schools and families focus on areas of strength, and not just weakness, the child is more likely to succeed.

In Navigating Neurodiversity: My Journey as a Twice Exceptional Adult, John and Deborah help readers see the immense strengths neurodiverse people possess. Some of these include attention to detail, sustained concentration, high quality work, excellent long-term memory with a recall for details, tolerance of repetition and routine, strong logic and analytical skills, and the ability to think “outside the box”. I discovered early in my meetings with John that he, like Thomas Jefferson and Henry Ford, is always seeing things that can be improved, but others have missed.

John, Deborah, and I are a team when it comes to our shared philosophy that every individual deserves a happy and satisfying life. We want others to see John’s life as an example that others like him can begin to comfortably understand who they are and accept themselves. There may be resistance along their journey, and one may lose a few battles. However, winning the war is what counts.

Stuart N. Robinson, Ph. D.

Licensed Psychologist

Dallas, Texas

Deborah Gennarelli

Deborah Gennarelli has advocated for 2e children and their families for over thirty years. Her extensive background as a gifted education specialist has put her in the position to help smart students with learning disabilitiesdifferences see their strengths are greater than their learning challenges. Her book Twice Exceptional Boys: A Roadmap to Getting it Right emphasizes how we must get to know and plan for the whole child. When schools and families focus on areas of strength, and not just weakness, the child is more likely to succeed.